Who Do You Want To Be?

Hey everyone, so just to warn you this is a bit of a rambling post. A sort of ‘thinking out loud’ post if you will. I’m not too sure what the point of this post was to be honest, I just felt like I needed to get some feelings out.

Who Do you Want To Be?

This is a question I ask myself a lot. Nearly every day I ask myself ‘who do you want to be?’. It seems like such a simple question but the more you delve into it the harder it is to answer.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What kind of person do you want to be? How are you going to get there?

It freaks me out to say the least. I think it can be so daunting thinking about the future sometimes (a mix between it seeming so far away yet so close at the same time). Trying to figure out what you want can be super scary, I feel like sometimes I have very limited options but it really is important to remember you’re only limited as much as you limit yourself. It sounds cheesy but you are the master of your own destiny.

It’s something I question a lot and at times I think ‘why?’ Do other people think this? It’s a question I constantly try to answer as at the moment I feel lost but at the same time sort of accomplished like yes i’m not where I thought i’d be at 22. A young me had dreams of being a married receptionist, living in Africa at 22 (really odd and specific I know, I was a strange child) or thinking i’d be a super successful actress. How strange is it to think of what we wanted when we were younger – maybe I would have been closer to what I wanted if i’s planned more? All I can think about is how a younger me was so sure of herself and now as I get older I sort of find myself getting more confused and anxious about these decisions. I guess it has something to do with how real it all seems now, how your actions are always going to effect your life in some way. I get really scared sometimes of being stuck in the same place forever, that I’m always going to want a little bit more.

Then it’s the whole thing of trying to not let fear get the best of you because I know I have been in the position many times that I’ve let me fears get in the way of what I want. It took me a very long time to feel confident enough to start a blog, I am so glad that I finally put my fears aside as I’ve found so much joy in blogging and being a part of the community. As a person I find that I can get really scared by the little things, even silly things like posting videos of me talking on Instagram, it was something that I wanted to do for a really long time but always felt embarrassed about my voice or how I’d come across to others.

I guess it’s all about trying new things and trying to find what you love from that. I’m feeling super lost at the moment and for a bit I did lose interest in a lot of things including blogging but I am starting to feel more motivated again. For a little while I was getting super stressed and upset about not knowing what I want in life and that had a knock on effect and made me feel bad about my blog and decisions I was making. I think times like that it’s super important to take a step back and think hey, there’s no time limit. You don’t have to know what you want to do with the rest of your life at 22, you don’t have to be married by 30. I feel like society puts so much pressure on us sometimes it’s hard to remember that were all unique and will do things at our own pace.

I feel like this post is a little bit of a mess but it’s something that I have been thinking about for a really long time and I just felt like I wanted to get it out there. I’d absolutely love to hear any advice you have or even if you can just relate to the way I’m feeling at the moment.

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  1. February 21, 2018 / 5:45 pm

    This hit so close to home. I’m 27 this year and I still haven’t achieved what I want in life. All I’ve ever wanted is to live in a small cottage somewhere, working as a translator or interpreter and not having much, just enjoying life in the middle of nowhere.. Yet it’s still so difficult to achieve and I always feel like a failure for not having done anything substantial yet.. Hate those kind of thoughts, honestly, they can be so destructive, although it’s necessary to have some kind of ‘reality’ check now and then.

    • Grace
      February 21, 2018 / 6:33 pm

      I’m glad it’s not just me feeling this way. I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that you’re not the only one who doesn’t have their life together. Aw it’s okay, you’ll get there. Like you’ve still got so much time, it’s just easy to get worried and panicky feeling like you’re behind. Yes definitely, think sometimes you have to take a step back and think it’s okay i’m not where I thought i’d be. Thanks for reading, really appreciate the comment! Was honestly so nervous about posting this x

  2. February 21, 2018 / 9:32 pm

    As someone who has been around a bit longer than you, let me tell you that time spent worrying about the future is wasted time – focus on your passions, whether personally, professionally or both – and it’s surprising how things turn out better than you can imagine – unfortunately, you can’t rush it, but if you really do spend time and energy on things that excite and fulfill you, you will find yourself living an exciting and fulfilling life…it kinda is as easy as it sounds…

    • Grace
      February 21, 2018 / 9:55 pm

      Thank you, I really appreciate it. You’re so right, by focusing on the things I enjoy and love I’ll eventually find my passion in life. It’s just the trying to remember that you don’t need to get to a certain point by a certain time, I think that’s something that gets to me sometimes.

  3. February 22, 2018 / 8:38 am

    My lovely Grace, the first thing I am going to say to you is that you don’t have to have it all figured out. I promise you. Even now, at 44, I still ask myself what do I want, and Im an old bird! Don’t waste your energy or time on worrying, worry is a stealer of joy. Take one part at a time. For example, if you feel you want to do different things in your leisure time, then aim to book or plan one thing a month that is different fro what you normally do. Work wise, Im afraid you just have to figure that out. You may find you have to try a few hats on before you find your way. It will all work out, have faith xx You know Im a massive believer in what is meant for you wont miss you xxxx

    • Grace
      February 22, 2018 / 5:20 pm

      Thank you Kerry, I really appreciate it. It just feels so difficult sometimes like everyone else knows what they’re doing. I totally understand what you’re saying and you’re so right, it’s all about just trying out new things to figure out what you want. I think I should make that my mission to try a new thing I wouldn’t usually do every month xxxx

  4. February 22, 2018 / 7:48 pm

    I nearly cried reading this chick! I hoped I would be a famous actress by 20 and that didn’t happen! It’s so real to feel uncertain with what youre doing but I’m proud you started blogging cause I wouldn’t have found you! I love your blog and so many other people do too! I get the feeling of not knowing what you what to do gal dont worry! Love you lots!xxxx

    • Grace
      February 22, 2018 / 9:01 pm

      Awww thank you so much gal. Honestly feel like I was so full of hopes and dreams when I was younger and now just feel confused and xonstantly nervous! Awww thank you gal, i’m so glad I did! I really appreciate you saying that, honestly makes my day seeing people want to read what I write about! Love you too gal xxxx

  5. February 23, 2018 / 9:51 am

    Oh Grace my lovely. I tend to do that too, asking myself what it is I really want to do on a pretty regular basis, almost always followed by a mini life crisis. I don’t think I’ve even grasped half of who I am, and those are some pretty big questions. I feel like I was so much more confident as a child, both in myself and with the things I tackled. I sometimes wish I could bring that confidence back and use it in my life now, but I guess things have a way of working out differently! The fear factor is definitely real too, especially when you start doing things like applying for jobs or hearing about your friends going on to do exciting things with their lives after graduation and doing what they’ve always wanted to do. It’s pretty crippling at times but I’ve found that blogging helps me too. Living in the moment in general is the gist of it, I guess. Also something I’m not that great at doing mostly because of all my stupid inhibitions (I hate the way my voice sounds on audio/video too) but I’m slowly getting there! Much love to you xxx

    • Grace
      February 23, 2018 / 10:07 am

      Me too, like one innocent thought turns into me freaking out majorly! Yes this is how I feel, super unsure about who I am. It’s scary to think about sometimes. Thank you so much for reading, really appreciate the comment! It’s nice to know that i’m not alone in this feeling. I feel the same about my voice, just irks me out hearing it played back but I really want to start videos at some point. Love to you too lovely, all the best… we’ll get there xxx

  6. February 23, 2018 / 9:58 am

    I’m feeling like this also, I don’t have anything figured out still and I’m 24. When I was around 15 I though that I’m gonna have job and already build a career that I’m proud of. I’m 24, still a student and I work as a journalist even though I never though that would happen. I feel like we all need motivation for everything and I still struggle with motivation for my studies, because chemical engineering wasn’t my original study plan, but I wanted a well paid job. Keep up the positive mindset and don’t give up on your dreams. xx

    • Grace
      February 23, 2018 / 10:10 am

      This is how I was thinking – think it’s prt of the problem we were brought up thinking we would be established n have it all figured out by our early/mid twenties. Yes motivation is a massive thing. Go you though like even though it wasn’t your original plan you’re still actively trying and think that’s the best we can do sometimes. Thank you so much, really appreciate it! I’ll try my best xx

  7. February 23, 2018 / 11:15 am

    I agree society puts a lot of pressure on us like when you’re a kid you’re always asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” then when you’re in high school it’s “what are you going to study in college?” By the time you’re in college, not a lot of people know what they want they to do or if they chose the right major or even if college was the right choice for them, but society makes it seem like you’re supposed to have your whole life planned out by the time you’re 18.
    I’m 24 & I have a bachelor’s degree & I know I want to get a master’s, but after that I’m not sure if I want to go for a doctorate or start working. It’s fine to not have everything planned out & it’s fine if it takes time to reach your goals!

    • Grace
      February 23, 2018 / 5:52 pm

      Yeeees, you’re so right. They’re questions constantly present in our life and it can seem so daunting sometimes. Yes exactly, feel like you’re pushed into going to college as well like that’s the only option you have when leaving school. It’s so much pressure for an 18 year old. That’s so true, I think it’s important to remember it’s okay not to have it all figured out. I really needed to hear that, we really dont have to rush to get our dreams

  8. February 23, 2018 / 11:27 am

    I nearly cried reading this! I am almost 30 and still haven’t figured it out!

    • Grace
      February 23, 2018 / 5:53 pm

      Aw i’m sorry to upset you, it’s so hard feeling lost sometimes I felt very emotional writing this post. I’ts nice to hear others share your problems like we still have so much time

  9. February 23, 2018 / 2:13 pm

    You don’t have to worry about having everything figured out. Life is unpredictable and even if you plan everything, most of the time you will see that planned things don’t materialise. I used to plan my life since I was 18. I wanted by 25 to get merried and have my own family. But unfortunately, in life we can’t have everything what we want, when we want. After seeing this I just gave up and I decided to “go with the flow’’ . As long as I’m healthy I can do the rest. And I am sure your life will be full of surprises too. 🤗🤗😍

    • Grace
      February 23, 2018 / 5:55 pm

      That’s super true, you can’t expect life to always go to the plan you have in your head. Yes that’s so true, our health is super important and the rest we can figure out as we go along! Thank you so much lovely, I appreciate 😊😊 we can figure it out as we go ❤️

  10. February 23, 2018 / 5:17 pm

    This is something that I never asked myself, who do I want to be ? Honestly I only want to be happy, I don’t really care how ! Maybe it sounds very un-ambitious, but even if I have some goals, going with the flow takes all that kind of pressure away. So don’t worry too much about planning your life, you’ll find your place eventually 😊

    • Grace
      February 23, 2018 / 5:56 pm

      Noooo not at all, it’s brilliant you think like that and honestly I really wish that’s how my brain worked. Constantly wondering and questioning who I want to be can be really tiring and frustating at time as it makes things seem super scary. Thanks lovely, going to try get out of my head a bit and go with the flow x

  11. February 25, 2018 / 12:53 pm

    I absolutely agree with what you’ve written- this is such a well thought-out post. I’m 20, and I do have a fair idea of where I want to be, but that could change tomorrow! I’m just focusing on hard work and concentrating on the things I love right now x
    Great post!
    I’d love it if you’d check out my new post at https://khanakm.com/2018/02/25/legit-no-makeup-makeup-tutorial/
    Khanak x

    • Grace
      February 25, 2018 / 10:14 pm

      Aww thank you, really appreciate your comment. Yes this is the thing, everything changes so often it’s hard to know what’s going to happen. Yes that’s a great way to be, I think that’s something I need to do.. just focus on things i’m enjoying and loving. Thanks for stopping by, will do xx

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